This is a new song that is not quite right yet. I think the mix is off. Looking for opinions. Also, I have know idea who to say this song sounds like. It's the first waltz we've written.
The Billy Joel Crown ‘aint safe no more around town. Great tune! This one here is extremely well made and articulate, sounds as if you might have played a bit before… The middle eight fit well, and was a highlight, very rare!
Nits? Bass track is not on the same level as the rest of the production. Percussion is just barely there. This arrangement works, the leaping flute at the end of the verse is a bit strident perhaps and might be better as a tool to connect the sections instead…
Deeper nits? Lots of repetition which bugs me but lots of younger listeners will feel comforted by that feature, the lyric appears to get on the edge of making a statement but doesn’t deliver. Are ya upset with her or just bored? For a first effort this is fab! Suggestion? Write in the background vocal as a rival to the protagonist, this will add tension and perhaps take the lyric to the next level.
Haha, yeah played a couple time before!
Agreed that the bass is a little high, that’s what comes from a bass player being the one of the writers and producer. Percussion??? I forgot that there was any 🙂
About the repetition, that’s just pop music. I stopped writing experimental songs when I was 24. They don’t pay the bills, though to be honest neither does most of the pop music I’ve written.
As far as the lyrics.. they are not supposed to be about how I feel about her. It’s 90’s depression infused lyrics. You know, I’m so sad that life turned out the way it always does. No judgement, no conclusion, just a vague unfullfilled sadness. Like the book “The Old Man and the Sea”
just not about catching a fish and a no mention of Joe DiMaggio
nice song, good performance as has already been said, the mix could use some work. seems a bit too busy in the lower mid range. Welcome to IMS, looking forward to hearing more of your stuff!
Charlie
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I agree with you regarding the mix. I think the backing vox could be brought a bit forward. I like what you’ve got going here though.
BTW, Welcome to IMS.
Thanks for the welcome
Yeah the vocals are buried. The plan is to remix the strings and flute together and see if we can get that mix right by itself.
The Billy Joel Crown ‘aint safe no more around town. Great tune! This one here is extremely well made and articulate, sounds as if you might have played a bit before… The middle eight fit well, and was a highlight, very rare!
Nits? Bass track is not on the same level as the rest of the production. Percussion is just barely there. This arrangement works, the leaping flute at the end of the verse is a bit strident perhaps and might be better as a tool to connect the sections instead…
Deeper nits? Lots of repetition which bugs me but lots of younger listeners will feel comforted by that feature, the lyric appears to get on the edge of making a statement but doesn’t deliver. Are ya upset with her or just bored? For a first effort this is fab! Suggestion? Write in the background vocal as a rival to the protagonist, this will add tension and perhaps take the lyric to the next level.
Daug
Haha, yeah played a couple time before!
Agreed that the bass is a little high, that’s what comes from a bass player being the one of the writers and producer. Percussion??? I forgot that there was any 🙂
About the repetition, that’s just pop music. I stopped writing experimental songs when I was 24. They don’t pay the bills, though to be honest neither does most of the pop music I’ve written.
As far as the lyrics.. they are not supposed to be about how I feel about her. It’s 90’s depression infused lyrics. You know, I’m so sad that life turned out the way it always does. No judgement, no conclusion, just a vague unfullfilled sadness. Like the book “The Old Man and the Sea”
just not about catching a fish and a no mention of Joe DiMaggio
nice song, good performance as has already been said, the mix could use some work. seems a bit too busy in the lower mid range. Welcome to IMS, looking forward to hearing more of your stuff!
Charlie
Welcome aboard!
The mix has already been commented on. I only want to add that I LOVE the main vocal. Enjoyed the arrangement as well.
🙂